It doesn’t feel real to be typing that blog title. We keep pinching ourselves over and over that it actually happened and I’m actually pregnant! It truly was such a long, hard road to get here but we are so grateful and feel so blessed. Even though it took us about three/four years to get here, I know it takes others much longer and my heart goes out to those who are still on that hard journey. But after two/three pregnancy losses, 2 rounds of clomid, 2 rounds of IVF, a gallbladder surgery, and three failed embryo transfers we are finally here and on cloud NINE.
I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and in the third trimester! It feels like such a relief to be here. This pregnancy has been pretty amazing physically, but mentally it’s been horrible. To be honest, I haven’t ever felt secure/confident in this pregnancy and the feeling of potential loss has been in my head the entire time. Especially in those first two trimesters. I feel like i’ve just been surviving day to day, clinging onto hope and faith and that this will be successful and we will get our baby girl here safely. A lot of that has to do with the fact that we were actually pregnant with TWINS at the beginning of this pregnancy. I don’t think a lot of people knew that, but we ended up putting 2 of our embryos in and they BOTH TOOK. We went in for that first heartbeat appointment and were able to hear baby A’s beautiful heartbeat, but it turns out Baby B had stopped developing at 5 weeks 6 days and there was no heartbeat. I asked why that had happened because both embryos were genetically tested and viable and they didn’t have an answer for me. The baby had just stopped growing. The doctor even had us wait a couple weeks to see if the baby was just behind and would catch up in development, but sadly they never did. I think that has traumatized me for the rest of this pregnancy. The fear that this other baby could just stop growing for no reason. I remember the nurse leaving the room and I just broke down in tears because I was so happy to hear a heartbeat. It was the best sound in the whole world. But so devastated that we had lost Baby B.
We were so excited that Baby A was so healthy and strong! They were right on schedule and we couldn’t have been happier!! We decided to find out the gender and I surprised Tyler at home with the news before we had a little gender reveal with our families to tell them what it was. And WE ARE HAVING A BABY GIRL!!! We could not be more excited!!
Besides my own anxiety this pregnancy has been amazing. I had a little morning sickness between weeks 14-18 but besides that I’ve felt great! After you do an embryo transfer you have to do progesterone shots every morning in your upper thigh/butt muscle until about 10/11 weeks! They are NOT. FUN. I think the injected progesterone kept me from getting sick during that time and once we stopped and my natural progesterone took over that’s when morning sickness crept in! It’s been so fun seeing my stomach slowly grow and to hear the heart beat (we ended up getting our own doppler, like I said, I’ve been a mess mentally ha ha) I was able to get through all of my weddings and shoots for the Spring, Summer and Fall with the help of my INCREDIBLE mom and husband who took turns coming to my weddings and helped hold my bag and equipment so it didn’t hurt my back as much. They are angels! I’m officially on “maternity leave” ha ha with my photography business and won’t be doing anymore shoots until April/May next year! It feels absolutely incredible!!
It feels like a miracle that we’re here and Tyler and I acknowledge that every day. I can’t even describe how excited we are to get this little baby here. And to be in the the 30’s and third trimester is wild to me! She is due January 13th and we are counting down the days until we finally get to see and hold her! She was worth every procedure and shot and I would do it all again in a heartbeat just to be where we are now. We are so excited to meet you baby girl!!
